For Valentines Day, I would like to share a little bit about when I met my husband, Shawn.

Newly graduated from college, I took a contract job at a local chemical company picking seeds out of apples for research. Strange job, you may say, but it was the only job available for someone with a biology degree and no experience.  It was there that I met Shawn, one of the biologists. When I first saw him, I thought he was extremely good-looking, so I stereotyped him immediately.  I figured he probably had a blond girlfriend with big boobs, belonged in a fraternity, and had a list of the women he’s slept with.  He later told me that he stereotyped me, too.

When we finally started talking to each other, I was amazed at the man I discovered him to be.  So much so, that at first, I thought he was being really smooth, telling me all the right things that a girl wants to hear.  He was too good to be true!  For example, one day in the break room, I asked him who he found to be attractive on TV.  Now, this was back in the “80s”, so I expected him to say Barbi Benton, Farrah Fawcett, Lonni Anderson, Heather Locklear, or some other buxom beauty.  Instead, he paused and thought about it for awhile.  He said he didn’t really watch that much TV, but the other night he did watch “Yentl” on PBS and thought Barbara Streisand did a really good job!  I thought, ‘Is he for real?’  Not only did he NOT pick a popular sex symbol, he actually was considering what she had accomplished.  Wow, I might be onto a gem, here.

Before Shawn and I met, I was pursued by an engineering major on campus.  One day, this young man and I were browsing in a news stand, and he picked up the “Sports Illustrated” swim suit issue.  The truth was, I wasn’t really interested in this young man and tried to dissuade him from his pursuit. I said to him something like, “I could never be with someone who is into Playboy and other forms of pornography.” He put down the magazine, immediately.  Later, he said to me, “I’ll have you know that I gave away all of my Playboy magazines!”  I said, “Great.” A few weeks later, when I finally gave in and started dating him, I found a stack of Playboys in his closet.  When confronted, he said he had given them to his roommate.  Why lie?

Okay, people might think that I am a prude and maybe I am. But, actually, I find it really tiring when, as a woman, you are always judged by your appearance.  I mean, if a woman discovers the cure for cancer, there will still be people noticing if she is fat or looking old.  If someone wants to “look at” Playboy magazines, I don’t care.  To each his own.  But I didn’t want to live in that world.  Honestly, I would rather live my life alone devoted to a career than live in that world. I worried about getting married and having my husband dumping me for someone younger at 40 or after menopause.  In that world, you see it all the time.  Those magazines (along with TV media) make me feel bad about how I look and like a failure for growing old.

So, once I determined that Shawn was the gem that I thought he was, we got engaged pretty quickly.   As our relationship progressed, Shawn took me home to meet his parents.  While there, he showed me his old bedroom and pulled out boxes of magazines that were under his bed.  When I looked at them, I laughed with glee.  The boxes were full of “Fruit Grower”, “Vegetable Grower”, and “Dirt Bike Rider” magazines.  I smiled and thought to myself, ‘This, I can definitely live with.’

Today, when I am dismayed at the signs of age that my body shows, Shawn still tells me how attractive I am to him.  When I warn him that I am going to start looking worse, he says, “When I got married, I expected to grow old with my wife.”  He truly is a gem, and I’ve been blessed to be with him for over 27 years, now.  We have created our own little world.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Shawn, my love and best friend!!