It’s not what you’re thinking….

One of my goals in life is to complete my novel.  In my novel, there are characters who use guns.  Beings that I have never handled a gun, myself, I thought I ought to do some research so that I could get the details right. Besides that , I knew Shawn would love to go shooting.  So, for Christmas, I signed both of us up for a basic handgun safety course. We were taught using a Ruger 22 pistol.  For me it was fun, scary, and exciting at the same time.  For Shawn, well, he was in his glory.  We learned about gun safety and that there are four basic rules:

1. Assume all firearms are loaded.
2. Only aim at what you want to shoot.
3. Do not put your finger on the trigger until you are ready to shoot.
4. Know what it is behind your target.

When we were ready to shoot, I informed the instructor, who kinda reminded me of Lotso Bear in Toy Story 3–except for the being evil part, that I wouldn’t be a natural. He was very patient and supportive. The first time I shot the gun was a shock because the sound and the kickback is something that you have to get used to.  You can see from my bull’s eye that I started out pretty bad, but got closer and closer to the center with practice. By the time I had finished, all my shots were in the bull’s eye. Shawn, however, was a natural. All his shots hit the bull’s eye. The instructor was extremely impressed with his shot and even moved the target back so that he would be more challenged.  I believe Shawn has discovered a new talent and hobby.  If we were ever in a situation where we needed to use a hand gun, I definitely would let him do the shooting!

We didn’t buy a hand gun. I’m still uncomfortable with the idea of having a hand gun in the house, especially with kids.   Like the instructor said, the best gun for home defense is a shot gun, and we already have one of those. But, now, I will be able to write my story more accurately with the knowledge of what a gun feels like, and how to load one, aim one, and shoot one.

At the risk of ruffling some feathers, I am going to write about stages of faith.  First, a little disclaimer, I have read James Fowler’s “Stages of Faith” a few times.  I found it difficult to read, and I probably only understand about 85% of it.  I have also read M. Scott Peck’s chapter about stages of faith in “Further Along on the Road Less Traveled.” I get most of my understanding from these two sources along with my own observations.

Why talk about stages of faith?  Because knowing these stages is helpful in understanding why people of the same religion behave in different ways. It is also important to realize that the term, “faith”, does not apply to one particular religion.  All people have a spirituality, whether they realize it or not.  Likewise, all people are somewhere along the stage of faith continuum.

It is not quite accurate to think of stages vertically, like climbing a ladder. Rather, as one progresses in faith, the movement is horizontal in the sense that the circle of people who you find important becomes bigger and bigger. There is also movement back and forth between stages, progression and regression.  According to Fowler, there are six stages of faith. For the most part, everyone who is not mentally impaired passes through the first two stages with no problem.   While a few people remain in stage two, I will skip over these. The vast majority of people, I believe, end up and stay in stage three.

What is stage three?  Fowler calls it “Synthetic-Conventional” faith. What does this mean?  My purpose is not to judge or criticize but explain. As an example, I’ll talk about my church, the Catholic Church.  There are many “cradle Catholics” in this stage.  It is a faith that has been passed down, accepted, but not examined. People can live their whole lives very fully and contently at this stage.  They get meaning out of belonging to a group and often think in black and white terms.  They like following “the rules” and can be indignant when they see people disobey.  Sometimes, they can appear to be superstitious. There can be an “us” and “them” mentality in this stage.  This is not just true of Christians.  Muslims, Jews, Hindus and all religions have people at various stages of faith.  And, you don’t even have to be religious to be in this stage of faith.  You can get the same sense of meaning by belonging to the military or any other organized group.

Some people at this stage, however, start thinking outside their religious box and start questioning their faith. They ask themselves, “Do I really believe this?” Or, they realize that they don’t know what they believe. This is a GOOD thing.  They have moved on to Stage Four, the questioning stage, which often doesn’t look religious.  That is why you will find highly moral people in the scientific community who are atheists, for example. Many Catholic parents lament the fact that their children have left the faith.  They shouldn’t worry. Their child may actually have moved onto a higher stage.  All that Catholic schooling was not for naught.

Now, what happens when someone at the questioning stage of four discovers the truth for themselves?  That all this nonsense about God might actually be true? They often return to God and their religion at a much deeper level.  This is stage five.  If this happens, it is not usually until the second half of life. People at this stage see that truth can come from many different sources. They are much more inclusive and embrace everyone.  They see the flaws in their religion but realize that no religion is perfect.  They are usually easy to be around and emanate joy. They don’t take the bible literally and are more about the “spirit of the law” rather than the “rule of the law.” They see things in shades of gray rather than black and white.

The last stage, stage six, is extremely rare. Fowler gives Mother Teresa, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King as examples.  It is a willingness to embrace everyone at every level. These people are willing to be spent or die for their faith. They place importance on people who others may find insignificant. They are subversive.  I believe Pope Francis is an example of someone at stage six.  He is amazing to watch and extremely inspiring. But, I should also point out that just because someone holds a high position in the Church, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are at a high stage of faith.  There are priests and bishops at lower stages of faith just as there are lay people and vowed religious brothers and sisters at higher stages.  It’s not about degrees in theology or how much you know.  It is how you derive meaning and act in your life. The idea is for everyone to continue to grow…

Fowler, James W. Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning. San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1981. Print.

Peck, M. Scott. Further along the Road Less Traveled: The Unending Journey toward Spiritual Growth: The Edited Lectures. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1993. Print.

Growing up, I wasn’t baptized and didn’t go to church.  Therefore, I had a lot of questions and misconceptions about God.  When I attended college, I majored in biology, and had a scientific mind-set.  “Show me the proof,” is a favorite phrase of non-believers in the science community, and this included me.

In college, I remember having feelings of despair.  I planned to be a doctor because I didn’t see the point of relationships or the meaning of life.   A mentor once told me, “All relationships end, one way or another.”  This seemed so cruel and unfair to me.  I mean, why get married, have children and have loved ones when we all just die in the end, anyway?  Why get close to anyone? I figured the best way to be happy in life was to accomplish professional success and help people at the same time.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I was missing the big picture. What my mentor said was only partially correct.  What she should have said was, “All relationships ON EARTH end, one way or another.”

I had a college roommate at that time, who was a born-again Christian. She was religious in a way that turned me off.  I expressed my thoughts to her, and she said, “Lisa, just pray for God to reveal himself to you.”  What did I have to lose?  So, I did…And He did.

Long story short, God entered my life with a bang.  Events occurred that could not be just coincidental.  Now, let me make it clear, it doesn’t stay that way when you are in it for the long haul.  But, I couldn’t believe how wrong I was.  For the first time, I understood what the fuss was about. Now, I believe in the Good News:  We can live forever with God and our loved ones for all eternity.

Also, around that time, I met Shawn, who was a Christian in a way that I’ve never seen expressed.  He was moral and deep, but no wimp.  He challenged me, “Have you ever actually read the Gospels?”  No, I hadn’t. The Gospels are the best kept secret of Christianity.  I don’t know how anyone can read the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in the New Testament without utterly falling in love with Jesus.  If you haven’t read them, then you don’t know Christ.

I couldn’t understand why I kept trying to be perfect and good, but despite my efforts, kept failing.  I identified with Paul, who said, “For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.” Romans 7:19. What I didn’t understand was that I was trying to be like God.  I was trying to be Christ-like.

During this time, I also read a lot of C.S. Lewis.   Mere Christianity, The Great Divorce, and The Screwtape Letters–a few times each.  I discovered that if you like mystery, God is rich and full of it.  Try contemplating eternity, the trinity, original sin, the incarnation, evil, resurrection, transubstantiation, to name a few.  In my arrogance, I used to think that religious people were dependent and simple-minded.  To the contrary, people at the higher stages of faith are some of the most inspiring, intellectual, and fascinating people of whom I’ve ever met. Being in the presence of holiness is one of the most profound experiences I’ve ever had.