This past Sunday’s gospel from John 20:19-31 is one of my favorites.  I can so relate to doubting Thomas.  Growing up with no religion or belief in God, I became a lover of science–still am.  I studied biology and medical laboratory science in school and was one of those people who wanted to believe in God but needed proof.  I explained this to my college roommate at the time, and she told me to pray for God to reveal Himself to me.  So, I did, and He did reveal Himself in a big way (a long story for another time).

As my love of Christ and faith grew, I became more active in the Catholic Church and joined many activities.  One time, I was asked to become a team member in putting together a women’s retreat weekend. Eagerly, I agreed.  The team members met once a week for eight weeks at the team leader’s house.  The team leader for that weekend lived about an hour and half from my home, so I carpooled with two other women.  I loved and looked forward to the team meetings.  I admired the women on my team and was nourished by listening to each of their witnesses’.

Well, one evening, on the way home, the two women who I commuted with each revealed to me that Christ had appeared to them.  I mean they actually seen Him! My reaction was probably the same as yours: disbelief.  I mean, does Jesus actually appear to people in this day and age? But I liked these women and didn’t want to doubt their stories.  Besides, who am I to say that they didn’t see Jesus?  So, I just kept quiet and listened, feeling inexplicably disturbed.

When I got home, I told my husband, Shawn, about the two women who claimed to have seen Jesus.  I figured out that I was feeling slighted or maybe not holy enough.  I mean, if Jesus really did appear to them, then why wasn’t he appearing to me? Was I doing something wrong?

And here’s one of the many reasons why I love my husband.  Without missing a beat, he responded, “Doesn’t it say somewhere in the Bible, ‘Blessed are those have not seen and believed?'” He was referring to this gospel passage where Jesus questions Thomas and asks, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me?  Blessed are those who have not seen and believed.”  Jesus’ words make me realize that I don’t need to see to believe.  I just know.